The 5e Economy

In older versions of D&D, the economics were weird and often nonsensical.  Especially considering that PC’s do not inhabit the “normal” economic system.  They operate more like gold rush prospectors than shopkeepers.  High risk, occasional massive payout and long stretches of downtime.

And where do magic items (sale and purchase) fall into the economy?  3e just normalized it – you could buy/sell magic items, and were expected to.  4e ignored it, mostly.  You sell magic items for half their worth, buy them for full cost and just shut up and kill stuff.

And then there is crafting.  Where does it fall into the economy – it has to be less profitable to stay home and craft than to go on adventures – otherwise, who would go adventuring?

I think it should be useful/interesting to be able to do crafting.  Players like to have their characters build things, create things, to leave a mark on the world other than by killing.  Plus, as a DM, it’s nice to have an underlying economy that makes a bit of sense – that you can build off of in a consistent, interesting way.

I’m going to start digging into the 5e crafting economy, looking at its links to the larger economic structure implied by the lifestyle and hireling rules, and see if it all hangs together.

Hellz yah Ron Perlman

Case Study 1:  Blacksmithing.

Historically, Blacksmithing was a high-skill, high-prestige occupation.  Ideally, that will also be the case here.

According to the rules, it takes the average person 250 days to learn to use a Smith’s tools, and the cost is 1 gp per day to do so, assuming they can find a teacher.  The tools themselves cost 20 gp (I assume this is for a travelling blacksmith, rather than the cost of setting up a forge).

Based on the lifestyle expenses, this is a fairly expensive proposition – essentially it is the cost of a year of modest lifestyle, so a reasonably high barrier to entry, consistent with a high-skill occupation, and requiring an apprenticeship period.

Now, let’s assume that the blacksmith has the skills – the crafting rules state that they have to pay ½ the cost of the item in “raw materials”.  My initial thought is that this is too high a raw materials cost, but if we suppose it covers the overhead to set up and run the forge, or to use somebody else’s forge, it might be doable.

The example they use in the book is 3 people working on a suit of plate mail, so let’s look at the economics of that and see if crafting actually pays.

We’ll start with the numbers.  A suit of plate mail costs 1500 gp.  So it will cost 750 gp in raw materials.  Let’s assume that means all the leather, coal, metal, tools and facilities you need to build the suit of armor.  In practical terms, this means that only a well-established, experienced blacksmith could even attempt this – the materials cost is too high, unless you are being fronted by the client.  But let’s assume this is an experienced smith who has the resources to do this project.

The remaining 750 gp worth of labor needs to happen at 5 gp/day, or 150 days worth of labor.  Remember that the smith can maintain himself at Modest level (1gp/day) for that time period.  If he does it all himself and lives modestly, he makes 750 gp profit, plus the 150 gp in living expenses.

*Edit* I messed this up.  I assumed that the profit was all they got back - but it isn't - they recoup their initial investment as well.  So this part below is all wrong.

So here is a big problem – if he starts the same project over again, he’s back to 0 – making nothing but plate mail (or anything else, by extension) means he never makes profit.  He has to plow all his profits back into materials for the next set.  

Of course, he is paying for a modest living for himself, so that is something.

Now let’s assume he has 2 helpers.  The helpers also earn 1 gp/day while helping, and they cut the time down to 50 days of labor.  Great – 750 gp profit for 50 days of work, plus the "lifestyle income" of 150 gp.

If he has a family– let’s say 3 gp/day for a family of 4.  So it’s costing him 2 gp/day to work on this – if the kids are the helpers, then just the forge work pays for itself, and he's still making 750 gp in 50 days.  Which is pretty good.

So these rules work (sorta) for PC crafting, since I guess the raw materials (this is really just materials, not raw materials) cost assumes that the PC doesn't
want to do most of the work themselves, and has the scratch to pay for steel, chainmail, leather and soforth.

So blacksmithing – it’s a decent living, and it doesn't really seem to matter what you are building - the 5 gp/day structure ensures that you can make a pretty good living at it, assuming you start with the matching 5 gp for raw materials.

I would like to give it more flexibility though, so say that you can put in UP TO 50% in raw materials, with a 10% minimum.

Let's try that suit of plate again with these rules.

The blacksmith puts in 25% in raw materials cost - 375 gp.  He has to do 1125 gp worth of work, or 225 days of labor.  He has 2 helpers, who just get paid the 1 gp/day modest living salary.  That means 75 days of work for the three of them.  At the end of that time, they clear 1500 gp for the suit.  Takes longer, but the basic math is the same.

Of course, if I was being detailed, I'd modify the raw materials cost and final product cost based on material availability and technology levels in an area, but that's for another day.

D30 Day 1: How Did You Get Started

When I was about 8, I met +Perry Jones, who has remained a friend lo these many years (about 30 years).  We went to school in Edgewood, BC - which is about as small and isolated a place as you will find, short of the Yukon or Alaska.

Edgewood school was renovating at that time, and they dumped a huge pile of dirt and rocks along one side of the playing field.  Perry and I began adventuring on these 'mountains', and explored back and forth for a big part of that year.

Later that year, I got the Dungeons and Dragons Coloring Book, which was the single most awesome thing 

that any human has ever produced.

We became really interested in D&D, but I don't think we ever actually played a game.  Until...

The next year I moved over the ferry to Fauquier, BC, where I met the Klopps.  Specifically Mike and Tony Klopp, who actually PLAYED D&D.

I wasn't the DM, so I don't know what version of D&D we were playing.  I do know that the first adventure I went on was Blizzard Pass, so I assume it was Mentzer or Holmes Basic, since it was about 1984 at this point.  I might even have been the original Basic Edition, though, since Mike and Tony had 2 older brothers who had both played too.  I made 2 characters.  A dwarf named Chainmail and an elf named Whiplash. Whiplash fell down a pit and got eaten by a giant rat, but I'm pretty sure Chainmail survived.  I was hooked.
Perry and I played lots of D&D in later years, and kept up our friendship even as we moved around.  Sadly, I've lost track of Mike and Tony Klopp, but I still remember playing D&D in the back room of their house.

A few years later I moved to New Denver, BC, and Rayn and Nathan Butt lived across the street, and they were into D&D too.  I DMed, since I was the most interested, and we played with a rotating cast of others for many years.  I still see Rayn pretty regularly, although gaming night is board games now, instead of D&D.

Starting D&D wasn't something I was introduced to.  It was something I was waiting for my whole life, without ever knowing it.  So thanks Greg Irons, and +Perry Jones, and Mike and Tony Klopp, and Rayn and Nathan Butt, and +Nic Morgan and the gaming group from university.  I'm getting towards my 4th decade of gaming, and I still have a great time each and every session.

Worldbuilding: The Oaths of Dwarves

The Judgment of Moradin

To the dwarves, the swearing of an Oath is a sacred and monumental thing.  Oaths are used for the most solemn and powerful agreements: Alliances, Marriages, Debts of Honor, Vendettas and the like.

The priests of Moradin are the holders of Oaths.  They witness and record the Oath, casting each one into iron tablets that are affixed to the walls of the Oath-Hall of the Temple. Each end of the tablet designates one of the parties to the Oath, and the center holds the Oath itself.  Multiple parties in an Oath result in multi-lobed tablets.

Oaths are considered to be in force for as long as the iron tablet endures and if the tablet ever rusts or breaks it is considered a sign from Moradin.  The location of the rust or break is used as an Augury in those cases - determining the actual message from the God.

The Oath-Hall of the Temple also houses Honor's Stone, a rock where the Oaths are sworn.  On the stone is a steel anvil and 2-handed hammer, used for the testing and passing judgement on Oaths.

It is the sworn duty of all Priest of Moradin to uphold Oaths.  An accused Oathbreaker is to be brought to the Oath-Hall, where they can be judged by Moradin himself.  By custom, no-one is a KNOWN Oathbreaker until after Moradin has rendered judgement, but in many cases the evidence seems to speak for itself, and some are judged oathbreaker by public opinion.  This is a grievous thing for a dwarf, but not nearly so much as being judged Oathbreaker by Moradin himself.

Many Outcasts seek death in battle.

Formal Judgement involves striking the tablet that represents the Oath on the anvil of Honor's Stone.  The results of the blow show the Judgement of Moradin in the matter.  An unharmed tablet means that Moradin considers the Oath to still be valid, while a partially or wholly destroyed tablet indicates guilt by one or both parties.  A cleanly broken one indicates that Moradin considers the oath to have been fulfilled, with no fault on any particular side.

A dwarf that is Judged as an Oathbreaker has two choices.  He or she can be Outcast, receiving a facial tattoo that spells death if the Outcast is seen within dwarven lands.  Many dwarves consider an Outcast to be fair game in any land.  Otherwise, the Oathbreaker may offer formal Redress to the other parties of the Oath.  Redress is some form of compensation or apology, and it’s nature is up to the Oathbreaker.  

Dwarven Oathkeeper

The higher the Redress, the more honor is maintained by the Oathbreaker.  It is up to the other party or parties to decide if they accept Redress.  If they do, the Oath is considered fulfilled.  If they refuse it, the Oathbreaker is Outcast.  It is considered dishonorable to refuse an appropriate Redress.  The life of the Oathbreaker is almost always accepted if offered as Redress, and maintains the honor of the Oathbreaker’s Clan and Hold.

Some priests of Moradin are Oath-Keepers - the closest thing to inquisitors that the dwarves have. Oath-Keepers investigate allegations of Oath-breaking, retrieve the accused parties and interpret and administer the Judgement of Moradin.  This is usually a separate process from the laws of a kingdom or hold, and takes precedence over local laws.  Oath-Keepers are able to request aid and support from any dwarves that worship Moradin.

Character Background: Hakoah Ironbeard

It is said that Garin Ironbeard and Bryth Splinterbeard were as close as brothers when they led their clans
south from Ozulfbekhr to found Clearwater Mill and Blackrock Hold many generations ago.  Certainly the alliance between the two clans was a solid as dwarven iron for all the days after, or so it seemed.

In the time when Ghordahl Ironbeard was chief of the Blackrock Hold, and Halmerin Splinterbeard was chief of Clearwater Mill, orc clans from the northern mountains attacked and besieged Clearwater Mill.  Appeals for aid came from the embattled Splinterbeards, but despite the pleas of his theigns and the rage of his folk, Ghordahl did not march to their aid.

Instead he sat on his throne with his head in his hands, and muttered of “wyrd” and “doom” and “forging anew”.  Every dwarf in Blackrock Hold wept when the news of Clearwater Mills’ fall came.  All save Ghordahl, who clutched the arms of his throne and stared at the floor.

The remains of the Splinterbeards fled south and east to Goldenhills Hall, bearing the tale of treachery and the breaking of ancient oaths.  From that time until now the Ironbeards were Oathbreakers to all the other clans, and none would trade with them or greet them with friendship, for a breaker of oaths is accursed by Moradin and shunned.

Blackrock Hold survived, though.  Bereft of dwarven allies, they began to trade more closely with their neighbor, Britha, and so survived for many years – isolated and grim.  It was in these days that Hakoah, grandson of Ghordahl was born and grew up.

Britha was a fertile highland valley, with several rivers pouring down to form a large lake at the center, where the capital city, Eldgrinsetr, the City of Bridges was built.  The men of Britha traded to the west with Leagrove and fought against the dangers from the Icewall Mountains and the gnoll-tribes of the Blistered Reach.

About 10 years ago, the end came for Britha.  For three days, the sun over the valley burned an ugly shade of red, and curtains of locusts and stinging insects rained from the sky.  They devoured crops, plants and flesh with equal voracity, and the farmers and villagers of Britha fled to Eldgrinsetr.

On the fourth day, Ke-Sectat Hatath, the Porphyrous Dragon came from the north.  The massive purple drake descended on Eldgrinsetr in a whirling swarm of giant flesh-eating flies and destroyed the city utterly.  Those who were fortunate enough to survive the flies and dragon’s rancid clouds of lung-shredding fumes were clawed from the rubble and flayed alive by the beast.  It took three days for Eldgrinsetr to die, and the death was ugly.  The dragon tore apart the bridges and floodgates of the city, flooding much of it and laying waste to the rest.

The locusts and flies that accompanied Ke-Sectat Hatath ate the green vale into a deserted wasteland of leafless trees and bare, dusty earth.  Some refugees escaped to Blackrock Hall with the tale, but many more were driven east, to die in the Blistered Reach from thirst and hunger, or at the hands of the gnoll tribes inhabiting that savage wasteland.  Britha was gone, 10,000 folk utter wiped from the earth, and Ke-Sectat Hatath flew off to the north-west, towards the Shadow Waste beyond the Blistered Reach.

Blackrock Hall fell at the same time, although it took longer for the demise to become apparent.  Isolated and without allies or trade, and with the orcs and giant-folk of the mountains emboldened by the death of Britha, the hold dwindled and withered.  6 months ago a great force of goblins struck up through the mines, overrunning the defenders in wave after shrieking wave.  Hakoah managed to lead a small group out, but his father and grandfather both died in the rear-guard.  One of his father's theigns brought Hakoah the Ironbeard Axe in the chaos, along with a simple message, "Redeem Us."

The few refugees fled south to the gnomish camps around the old Blingdenstone Gates, or west to Leagrove
and the Vale of Gardens.  Hakoah saw them safe, then came back east.  Skirting the southern fringes of Britha, he came down into the grassy hills at the edge of the wide Saltwind Prairie.  There, he and Seamus were ambushed by gnoll raiders and taken captive.  After several days of marching, the gnolls appear to be closing in on their destination.

Making Barbarians More Interesting

I was pretty critical of the Barbarian class in my high-level write-up.  Some of that is frustration, because it’s close to being really good.  All the pieces of something interesting are there – it’s just presented in a way doesn't do it justice.  Lots of potential.

This is how I’d do it:

Break the whole leveling set up into 2 discreet chunks:  Level 1-3 and everything else. I’ll talk about name-level thoughts in another post.

Next we identify what features are associated with those level ranges:

Levels 1-3:

Rage

+1 attack Bonus

+2 Rage damage bonus

Feral Instinct

Reckless Attack

1 Path/Path Feature

I’m OK with the concept that levels 1 through three are introductory levels, so I’m fine with keeping these 3 levels as-is.  You get to make quite a few interesting choices during character creation, 2^nd level comes very quickly, and you get to make a major choice at 3^rd level with your path.

However, I see no reason for the linear progression of the Path Features.  I’d allow players to pick a path feature from the list when they get a path feature.  The default progression (if you don’t want to make decisions) could still be as-written.

Path of the Berserker.  Fearless Rage and Mindless Rage should be automatic benefits to the path.  I would also give anyone that picked Path of the Berserker 1 additional use of rage right off the bat.  If they are berserkers, they should have more berserk in them.  I would also make Unlimited Rage a benefit of this only path at Lv 20.

Path of the Totem Warrior.  See – picking the totem spirit is EXACTLY the kind of interesting choice I like.  It is cool stuff, adds thematically to your character, all the benefits are neat and they AREN’T all combat benefits.  I like the idea of making Totem Spirit the default first choice here.  The rest, I'd just let the player pick which path feature they want when they get one.

For the rest of the levels, I would lay things out like so:

Level	Feature
4	Feat/Ability Upgrade
5	2 Class Features
6	Path Feature, Class Feature
7	Class Feature
8	Class Feature
9	Feat/Ability Upgrade
10	Path Feature, Class Feature
11	Class Feature
12	2 Class Features
13	Feat/Ability
14	Path Feature, Class Feature
15	Class Feature
16	2 Class Features
17	Path Feature, Class Feature
18	Feat/Ability
19	Class Feature
20	Lv 20 Path Benefit

If you don’t want to make choices, take the Class and Path Features in order – giving you basically the current progression.

The Class Feature List would look like this.  You could take each option once.

Brutal Critical

Fast Movement

+1 Attack Bonus

1 Extra Rage

Feral Reflexes

Two Attacks

+1 Attack Bonus, +1 Rage Damage

Relentless Rage

Furious Resilience

1 Extra Rage

+1 Attack Bonus

1 Extra Rage

Simmering Rage

Incite Rage

1 Extra Rage, +1 Rage Damage

Primal Might

Death-Defying Rage

Realistically, I’d add about 5 more features so that nobody could ever get all of them.  Scarcity is interesting.  Keep the number of rages and +1 attack bonus' limited, though.  I'm OK with players getting those lower on the level scale if it means they are sacrificing other benefits to get them, but adding more of them means that you are potentially messing with the "bounded accuracy" business.

Another benefit to this structure is that it makes it really easy to expand on the class.  Paths are self-contained, so they are simple to build and add, and adding class features is also relatively easy, although you want to go carefully there – too many and we’re right back in 3e country.

But notice – no feat chains.  No stat or level pre-reqs.  So if I want an accurate rager, I can spend my early features on extra rages and hit bonuses.   I haven’t really added anything to the class structure, just formalized what it is already doing and added choices, albeit bounded ones, at each level.

You could also turn this into a d20 chart pretty easily, if you wanted to do random-feature advancement.  I know some people like that.

Anywhoo, that's how I'd do this.  Same pieces, organized differently, with a default progression for those who want a simpler system.

Creating a High Level D&D Next Character: Barbarian (Conan)

Well, the last Creating a DnD Character post attracted a lot of interest.  The new playtest package came out a bit ago, so I thought I'd give this another go and see what's changed.  I also want to try making a high-level character, just to do a simulation of what leveling looks like.


I'm going to make CONAN, a level 18 Barbarian.  Then I'm going to make him again as a level 18 fighter.

Actual Quote from my 4-year old daughter, Iris.  "Who's a Coban?"

Race:  Human, obviously, since this is Conan.  But it's also a really good choice, which is weird since human has been the red-headed stepchild of the race choices for as long as I can remember.  +1 on all stats is pretty impressive, and makes

So, point buy for stats - 15 Str, 15 Dex, 15 Con, 9 everything else. Conan is a physical beast.  Stats go up to 16,16,16,10,10,10 with the racial bonus.  He speaks Common and Orcish, cause Conan would know how to speak Orc.  Or Pictish, anyways.

Background is Guide - we'll go with post-Venarium Conan, just down from the hills.  He gets the Wanderer trait, proficiency in Navigator's tools (whatever the fuck those are.  The stars?  Moss on trees?) and Cultural Lore: Northern Peoples and Natural Lore.  The only way to make these fucking lores work is to make them REALLY general.  Otherwise ones like Arcane and Natural are just worth so much more than the others that the others are worthless.  Lores suck a dick.

Starting HP is15 (12+3) and equipment is a longsword (thematic, technically it's a broadsword), a shield and studded leather, for an AC of 15.  He gets 2 rages, which make him tougher and hit harder.  Now to start leveling up this bad boy.

Level 2, we get 9 more HP (I'm just giving him the 6 average every level), bringing the total to 24, and Feral Instinct, which gives him advantage on initiative rolls (awesome) and Reckless Attack, which gives him advantage on attacks when not raging, at the cost of advantage on attacks against him.  Not bad, and thematic for a Barbarian.

Level 3 and things get interesting.  Conan is not really a berserker like Logan Nine-Fingers or Minsc, but
he's no totem warrior either.  I'll try Berserker on this build and see how it goes.  I suspect the Fighter version might end up being more accurate.  This is actually the point where I would multi-class him to fighter anyhow.

That would be barbarian rage, alright.

So, path of the Berserker gives him Fearless Rage, so he cannot be frightened while raging.  He also gets 9 more HP, bringing the total to 33, and gets another use of Rage.

Level 4 brings us to another interesting choice - feat or stat bump?  This is really an interesting choice.  Alert, Charger, Stealthy and Tough are all appropriate, but most chronologies have Conan as a thief in Arenjun in Zamora at about this point in his career, so we'll take the Stealthy feat.  That gives him low-light vision, the ability to hide if lightly obscured and a d4 expertise dice to use on Dex saves when hiding.  Not bad, but maybe not worth 2 stat points.  HP's go up to 42.

Level 5 raises his attack bonus to +2, totalling +5 to hit now, Brutal Critical, which allows him to roll an additional dice when he hits with a critical (so a critical with his longsword would be 3d8+3, or +5 if he is raging).  He also gets Fast Movement, raising his speed by 10, to 40, since he is sticking with the light armor.  HP go up to 51.

Level 6 sees HP go to 60, another use of rage, so 4 now, and Mindless Rage, which makes him immune to charm while raging.  Sorta meh power, but whatever.

Level 7, HP go to 69 (dude) and he gets Feral Reflexes.  Now, this one is just written badly.  It says that "if you are surprised while you are conscious, you can take a turn during the surprise round if you enter your rage at the start of the round." I'm not sure what the fuck that is supposed to mean.  If you are surprised, you CAN'T enter your rage at the start of the round.  But I'm just going to assume they mean that if he gets surprised, he can enter a rage and act normally during the surprise round.

Level 8 and we get some cool stuff. HP are up to 78 and he now has 2 attacks per round.

Level 9 and we're back to feat vs ability score.  I'd say here we want to increase Str by 2, to 18.  Rage damage also goes up to +3, so Conan has +6 to hit and +7 damage while raging, and gets 2 attacks per round.  He also now has 87 HP.

Level 10 sees an increase in our base attack bonus, so +7 to hit, 96 HP and another class feature, Unchecked Fury, which allows him to make 1 additional melee attack if he misses during his turn.  Very nice power.

No King Conan in THIS version of D&D

This is the point where I think I would cap HP gain, or limit it just to Con bonus.  Cranking HP up past 100, I think gets us diminishing returns pretty fast.  We're getting to Name Levels now, and even if Next doesn't have demesne stuff, I'll be house-ruling it in.

Level 11 gets him Relentless Rage, which lets him make a DC 10 Con saving throw to ignore a blow that would drop him below 0 HP, instead staying at 1, so long as he is raging.  Handy power that.  Better buff up Con when we have a chance.  HP go up to 107.

Level 12 brings his HP to 116, and gains Furious Resilience, which allows all saves made while raging to be done with advantage.  That sorta makes Relentless Rage pretty nice.  The only practical way to kill him now is massive damage killing him outright.  The math on this is basically that Advantage is about the same as a +3 bonus on a roll.  Combined with +3 (soon to be +4) on Con rolls, that means he saves 4 times out of 5 on his Relentless Rage checks.  Oh, and he also gets another use of rage, bringing the total to 5.

Level 13 is another feat vs ability point.  I'd say we'll go with the +2 Con bonus.  That means he has 126 HP.

Level 14 means HP go to 136 and he gets the path feature Brutal Rage, where he can turn a normal hit into a critical, but this stops his rage and grants attacks advantage for the next round.  This would be situationally handy, but not  super-great for a 14th level ability.

Level 15 and HP go to 146 and we get Simmering Rage, so now he can go up to 2 consecutive turns without making an attack before his rage ends.  Handy for prolonging the FUN!

Level 16 means the attack bonus goes up to 4, as does the rage damage.  Conan now has 156 HP and gets 2 attacks/round at +8 to hit and damage when raging.  He also gets Incite Rage, which is a LOS slight buff on a single target.  Not very impressive at 16th level.  This shit needs to be options at lower levels.  This fucking design by 1e is crap.

Terrifying Rage in action!

Level 17 gets him another rage, so 6 now, and a path feature, Terrifying Rage, which makes any creature that takes damage from him make a Will save or be frightened.  Which is pretty cool and interesting.  Oh, and he has 166 HP!

Level 18, which is as high as we're gonna go, is the final feat vs stat choice.  Conan is wary like a cat, so I'll take the Alert feat, which gives him +5 on initiative (and advantage...  and +3 for dex), immunity to surprise and advantage on wisdom checks when using Listen or Spot.  Not bad.  He also now has 176 HP.

I could take him all the way to 20, but really, I'm kinda bored.  Other than character creation, I got to make 5 decisions.  One path decision at level 3, and four feat vs stat increase choices.

THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DESIGN A CLASS.  Interesting decisions are the staple of tabletop games of all varieties, and there are NO interesting decisions here - just force-feeding.  It's a railroad adventure dressed up as a class.  And there is NO REASON it has to be this way.  Most of the high-level class and path features are just as powerful as the low-level ones.  You want to make this interesting - give me a choice of any of those features at each level where I would normally get one. Let me choose my path feature, and choose my class feature, or swap them out for a flat bonus to something.  Then we're talking.

Magic Items in D&D Next

I really like the new magic item implementation in D&D Next. The attunement mechanic, creator system, the natures, the minor properties, the quirks - all interesting stuff. It makes creating even relatively minor magical items fun, and gives the DM some neat foundations that they can build on.

For my part, I've done some work recently expanding the attunement mechanics, making attunement a more varied and challenging process, and linking it directly with the creator and nature system.

Goals:

I want to make Attunement a more time-consuming, expensive and potentially dangerous process. Since attunement is challenging, and the number of items that a character can be attuned to is limited, attunement should have some benefits. Most items will be more powerful when attuned, but breaking attunement carries some risks and penalties as well, which should discourage players from mindlessly seeking the "most plusses". Ideally, a player might retain their attuned items for much of their career, given the bounded accuracy structure of D&D Next.

Attunement House Rules:

Get em all as a handy PDF

Attuning an Item:

In order to attune an item, a player must succeed in one of the Attunement Options for the Type and Nature of the magic item. DM's should feel free to create unique Attunement Options (like visiting specific places, defeating major foes or acquiring other items) in addition to the standard options.
Max Number of Attuned Items:

A character may have a maximum of 2 OR their Charisma modifier, whichever is higher, items attuned at any one time. (Rational: Charisma is less likely to be a dump stat if it potentially translates into additional item attunements)

Attunement Frequency:

A character may attempt attunement once ever d6 days, -1 per point of charisma modifier, with a 1-day minimum. So a character with a +2 Charisma modifier would be able to attempt attunement every 1-4 days.
Ending Attunement:

If a character wishes to end attunement with an item, they must complete another of the Attunement Options for that item, which may include the destruction of the item. (Frodo was attuned to the One Ring by the end, as were Smeagol and Bilbo). Simply discarding an item does not end attunement, and for some items, multiple people can be attuned at the same time.

If a character successfully ends attunement on an item, they cannot become attuned to a different item for d4 weeks.

Attunement Options:

All magic items can be attuned using the Ritual or Test of Will attunement options. Other Attunement options are availabe based on the Creator and Nature of the item.
Magic Item Creators

In my campaign, powerful magical items (which all require attunement) aren't just created by different races - they are often powered by the spirits or elemental forces of those races. These spirits determine the general aspects of the magic items, and also inform how a character can become attuned to an item. Conversely, this makes certain items unattunable by specific races, or by characters who already have an antagonistic item attuned.

Abyssal - these items contain a bound demon. They cannot be attuned by Good-aligned characters, are antagonistic to Celestial and Fiendish items.
Attunement Options: Blood Sacrifice, Pact, Defeat Foe, Direct Combat
Foes: Devils, Celestials, Powerful Good creatures (Shedu, Coatl, etc.)

Ancient human - these items are powered by demi-gods, ancestral spirits or ancient heroes specific to the culture that created them. Roll randomly on this table for their antagonist item type, or select one that is appropriate to the culture that created the item.
Attunement Options: Roll randomly or pick appropriate for culture.
Foes: Generally other ancient humans, undead or humanoids.

Celestial - these items contain a bound holy spirit or lesser Celestial. They cannot be attuned by Evil-aligned characters, and are antagonistic to Abyssal and Fiendish items.
Attunement Options: Meditation, Pact, Defeat Foe
Foes: Devils, Demons, Undead, Necromancers

Draconic - these items contain ancient Draconic spirits. They are antagonistic to Elvish and Giantish items.
Attunement Options: Defeat Foe, Challenge, Direct Combat
Foes: Giants, Dragons of opposing types (metallic vs chromatic, for example)

Drow - these items are powered either by Llolth directly, or by a lesser demonic servitor of Llolth. They cannot be attuned by Good-aligned character or by non-Drow elves. They are antagonistic to Elven and Celestial items.
Attunement Options: Blood Sacrifice, Pact, Defeat Foe
Foes: Surface Elves, Deep Gnomes

Dwarven - these items are powered by dwarven ancestral spirits, by dwarven gods, or by earth elementals bound by the dwarves. They cannot be attuned by Elves, and are antagonistic to Draconic and Giantish items.
Attunement Options: Defeated Foe, Challenge, Direct Combat
Foes: Giants, Dragons

Elemental (air) - these items are powered by air elemental spirits. They are antagonistic to Elemental Earth items.

Elemental (earth) - these items are powered by earth elemental spirits. They are antagonistic to Elemental Air items.

Elemental (fire) - these items are powered by fire elemental spirits. They are antagonistic to Elemental Water items.

Elemental (water) - these items are powered by water elemental spirits. They are antagonistic to Elemental Fire items.
Attunement Options: Meditation, Challenge, Defeat Foe, Direct Combat
Foe: Oppositional Elemental

Elven - these items contain Elven ancestral spirits or powerful Fey spirits. They cannot be attuned by Drow Elves or Dwarves, and are antagonistic to Drow and Dwarven items.
Attunement Options: Pact, Meditation

Fey - these items contain Seelie or Unseelie fey spirits or bound Fomorian powers. They are antagonistic to Fiendish and Giantish items.
Attunement Options: Pact, Challenge

Fiendish - these items are powered by bound devils. They cannot be attuned by Good-aligned characters, and are antagonistic to Celestial and Abyssal items.
Attunement Options: Blood Sacrifice, Pact, Defeat Foe, Direct Combat
Foe: Demon, Celestial, Powerful good creatures.

Giant - these items are powered by giantish demi-gods or by the powers of the Giant-race patriarchs (Sutr, Thrym). They cannot be attuned by Dwarves or Dragon-kin, and are antagonistic to Dwarven and Draconic items. Roll a d6 to determine the giant race that created the item.

1. Cloud - antagonistic to Earth Elemental items.
2. Fire - antagonistic to Water Elemental items.
3. Frost - Antagonistic to Fire Elemental items.
4. Hill - Antagonistic to Gnomish items.
5. Stone - Antagonistic to Water Elemental items.
6. Storm - Antagonistic to Earth Elemental items.

Attunement Options: Test of Wills, Defeat Foe, Direct Combat
Foes: Dragons or Dragon-Kin, Antagonistic Elementals, Lesser Giant-Kin, Elves.

Gnome - these items are powered by spirits of glamour and illusion, or by fey spirits. They cannot by attuned by Lawful characters, but they are not antagonistic.
Attunement Options: Test of Wills, Challenge

Magic Item Nature

Arcane: Arcane objects can always be attuned via Meditation.

Bane: Bane objects can always be attuned by Defeating the Foe they are designed to counteract.

Legendary: Legendary items can always be attuned by the Challenge of locating the remains or place of power of the legendary hero.

Ornament: Ornamental items can always be attuned by the Challenge of using them in the special event they were designed for, or displaying them prominently for a specific period of time.

Prophecy: Prophecy items can always be attuned by the Challenge of fulfilling one of the steps of the prophecy they represent.

Religious icon: Religious Icons can always be attuned by Meditation.

Sinister: Sinister items can always be attuned by Blood Sacrifice, usually by recreation of the event they are associated with.

Symbol of power: Symbols of Power can always be attuned by the rightful heir of the power/authority they represent.

Attunement Options

Ritual

All items can be attuned by the means of a magical ritual, although the details of this ritual can be difficult and expensive to discover.

There are several ways for a character to discover the ritual required to attune a weapon.

Quest: The details of the attunement ritual can be the reward for a a quest or part of a treasure horde.

Research: With access to sufficient lore, a character can recreate the details of the ritual: Either an Int or Lore (Magic) check, DC 13 for Common, 15 for Uncommon, 17 for Rare, 19 for Very Rare, 21 for Legendary or 23 for Artifact.

Sage: A sage can likely discover the attunement ritual for an item, cost is d100 gp for Common, d100x5 gp for Uncommon, d100x25 for Rare, d100x50 for Very Rare, d100x100 for Legendary and d100x500 for Artifact.

Divination: Divination magic can expose the attunement ritual for the item. A cleric or wizard will generally charge the equivalent to the sage costs for the spell.

Material Cost: The material cost for the ritual is d10 gp for Common, d10x5 gp for Uncommon, d10x25 for Rare, d10x50 for Very Rare, d10x100 for Legendary and d10x500 for artifact.

Test of Wills

All items can also be attuned by a test of wills, essentially forcing the spirit of the item to accept you as a wielder, similar to Aragorn forcing the palantir or one of Elric's many mental tussles with Stormbringer.

The Test of Wills is a contested Wisdom, Constitution or Charisma check (depending on the type of item) against the spirit that binds the item. The initial test takes d4 hours. Whatever type of test is initiated, the spirit of the item has a modifier based on the power of the item. Common items, +0, Uncommon items +1, Rare items +2, Very Rare items +3, Legendary items +4 and Artifacts +6.

If the character wins, then the item is attuned to them. Some powerful or sentient items will periodically re-initiate a Test of Wills, based on their desires or the characters actions (Stormbringer is a dick that way).

If the character loses, they cannot attempt to attune the item via a test of wills for d4 weeks, and they suffer other ill effects based on how badly they lost the check:

Draw: No ill effect

-1 to -3: d6 hp damage.

-4 to -6: 2d6 hp damage and 1 point temporarily lost from check stat.

-7 to -9: 3d6 hp damage and weakness resulting in -1 to all checks for 1 day.

-10 or more: Permanent loss of 1 point from check stat.

Blood Sacrifice

Evil spirits often accept a blood sacrifice in order to accept attunement. The character must sacrifice one or more sentient beings using the item. The number of beings required for the sacrifice depends on the power of the item. 1 for Common, 1d4 for Uncommon, 1d6 for Rare, 1d10 for Very Rare, 1d12 for Legendary and 1d20 for Artifact.

Pact

Many items contain bound spirits with particular goals or ideologies, which resent or oppose being wielded for cross-purposes. Attuning Pact items involves negotiating with the spirit of the item and reaching an agreement with it. Generally, Pact will include pledges not to attack members of the race that created the item, and may also include quests on behalf of the spirit of the item.

Defeat Foe

Many items, especially weapons, are forged specifically to defeat great foes. Wielding the item while defeating one (or more) of these foes will will the approval of the spirits bound in the item and allow immediate attunement.

Meditation

The attunement secrets of some items can be discovered through extended periods of arcane or divine mediation and focus. The Mediation attunement option is only available to spell-casting classes. The Meditation process requires 24 uninterrupted hours of intense focus. As this process is both physically and mentally draining, the character must make 2 checks. One Con check with a DC of 13 to see if the character can withstand the physical effort, and one Int or Wis check with a DC based on the item's power.

Each additional hour over 24 that the character spends adds +1 to the Int/Wis check, but requires an additional DC 13 Con check.

DC 12 for Common, 14 for Uncommon, 16 for Rare, 18 for Very Rare, 20 for Legendary or 22 for Artifact.

Challenge

A Challenge is any quest, journey or additional item (magical or mundane) that is required to attune the item. A Challenge may be to bring the item to a specific holy location, to defeat the undead shade of the item's previous wielder, or to locate 9 cat's-eye-sapphires that used to be set in the magical necklace. Challenges are basically item-specific plot hooks.

Direct Combat

Some spirits and races value direct, physical power. The spirit inhabiting the item will manifest and physically battle to character. Outside assistance may or may not be allowed, depending on the spirit. The toughness of the spirit should be approximately based on the power of the item. You can also substitute spectral or spirit versions of the appropriate monster or creature, as appropriate.

1-3 HD for Common, 4-5 HD for Uncommon, 6-9 HD for Rare, 10-15 HD for Very Rare, 15+HD for Legendary and 20 HD for Artifacts.

Talking 'Bout Teratic Tome

Recently, quite a few Indie RPG publishers jumped on the Pay What You Want train to what I can only hope was Profit-town.  Since I'm actually playing quite a bit of DnD right now, and since DnD Next is extremely OSR-friendly in terms of material you can use with it, I decided to spend a little money.

Teratic Tome.

One of the things I picked up was Rafael Chandler's Teratic Tome.  I always like having new monsters to
spring on my players,  and since most of them have been gamers for many years, they pretty much know all the standards and new monsters are a good thing.

So, in that regard, Teratic Tome certainly delivers.  There are lots of new monsters here, and a fair number of interesting ideas, but on the whole, I have decidedly mixed feelings about  the Teratic Tome.

Things I Like:

• Some of the art.
• The dragons.
• Story hooks built into many monsters.

Things I Don't Like:

• The rest of the art.
• All the story hooks are pretty much the same.
• That one story hook doesn't exactly work for DnD.
• The whole book comes off kinda creepy.

The Art
The art is generally good, although it switches back and forth between traditional fantasy and hentai in a way that is a bit jarring.  I don't really have a preference in terms of style, but I like a book to stick with one or the other.  Some of the artists are extremely good, great even, but just as many are solidly "meh".

More problematically, there are a substantial number of tentacled vaginas (vaginae?) in this book.  And by that I mean, at least 5, although I'm not going to take the time to count them.  There are also many creatures based on naked women.

Before you get up in my grill, I want to go on record as saying I have no inherent problem with the idea of tentacled vagina art or naked woman art.  I have an internet connection and a Reddit account.  I have seen things.  We all have.  The the vagina with tentacles is appropriately creepy-gross, and fits with the horror-movie theme of this book.

But.  There are no spiked penises here.  Or whatever the creepy-gross male anatomy equivalent is.  In fact, there are lots of creatures based on creepy versions of naked women, pictures of breasts and so-forth, but basically no creatures based on creepy versions of naked men. It all comes off as a bit juvenile.  All I think as I read through it is "wow, somebody REALLY liked that picture of the succubus in the ADnD Monster Manual".

The Dragons
Are awesome.  They are horrible monsters that bring the apocalypse.  I will steal this idea forthwith and I doubt I will return to regular dragons, except perhaps as spawn/offspring of these monstrosities.  The dragons are almost worth the price of admission.

The Story Hooks
Many of the creatures presented in the Teratic Tome aren't exactly monsters in the traditional DnD sense of something that you might run into in a dungeon and then kill for treasure.  They are more like story hooks with statistics.  Story hooks and stats come up with by a sexually repressed Japanese man, at that.

Let's take the Altar Beast, for example.  It preys on "those who dissolve the holy bond of matrimony" by possessing one of the people who want to get divorced, then emerging from their body to feed on anyone that "encourages and permits this sin."  It's a towering, purple, tentacled phallus with lamprey mouths (OK, I guess there are some penis-equivalents in this book).  That smells like strawberries.  Holy Fuck.  Leaving aside that this thing is like the fevered masturbation fantasy of Sara Palin after a weekend-long hentai binge, this monster is essentially the template for half the book.

Here is the template: People are being murdered.  Find out the connection and confront the monster that is using a victim to cause the murders.  We see this repeated maybe 20 or 30 times in the Teratic Tome.  It's basically monster design by template.

Step 1: Pick obscure god of something.  Step 2:  Creature created to punish sin.  Identify the sin using this handy chart.  Credit:  Catholics, of course.  Step 3: Random colors and smells.  Step 4:  Graphics by hentai design school with focus on variations of naked women.  Step 5: Profit?

Many of the monsters in this book are essentially the crib-notes for a horror movie.  Which is OK, I suppose, if you can pull that sort of thing off in your DnD game.  They rely on physical horror - monstrous shapes emerging from human bodies, awful eyeballs with spider legs, that sort of thing.  Problem is, I don't think that physical horror works well in DnD.

Characters who regularly go toe-to-toe with giant spiders or the walking dead don't really blink at a towering purple dong-monster.  Horror like this relies on the known and understandable - a human murderer, for example, turning out to be something alarming and inhuman.  But since alarming and inhuman is just a day at the office in DnD, it loses quite a bit of potential punch in this setting, so many of the monsters are less useful than they could be.

In Summary:
Horror-based retro-clone monsters.  Compatible with most versions of DnD except probably 4e without much modification.

If you run LotFP, horror or dark-fantasy themed games this is probably a good supplement for you.

Don't leave it lying around if you have kids.  The focus on female-nudity-based monsters may not be for everyone.

The dragons are awesome.

What I'm Gonna Do With It:
I'm going to reskin quite a few of these monsters into summoned creatures, demons or magical abominations.  I don't think I'll use the horror-element story hooks too much.  The dragons have already been incorporated into

My Favorite NPC: Rohan Tomat

It's weird - when I think of NPC's that I've really liked, none of MY NPC's come to mind.  Which is actually pretty concerning.  Note to DM self - you need to spend more time on NPC's.

The NPC that really stands out from all the years of gaming was from our numerous Vampire: the Masquerade games in university.  My buddy Nic was a truly standout DM - able to manage complex political plots, multiple well-fleshed-out NPC's and basically playing really good Vampires.  His games were always tons of fun, even if we were often the simpletons among the scheming, subtle Kindred.

But of all the manipulative bastards that we encountered in those games, Rohan Tomat was by far the most bastardly.  And he was truly horrible because he was likable.  You KNEW that Rohan was fucking you over, but the smile and the carrot were always too much to resist.

We never learned much in the way of specifics about Rohan - his allegiances, history and motives were things he kept close to his chest.  I think he was some variety of Sabbat, but certainly not a very invested one.  Rohan's loyalties were generally to Rohan - or to whatever plot, scheme or machination Rohan was cooking up.

This is how I picture Rohan.

I remember several times that the party decided that they needed to call in Rohan to help out with an
insoluble problem.  It was always an agonizing decision, because you were aware that you were going to get screwed, and that it would *seem* like it was worth it, yet deep in your mind, that niggling feeling that you were getting short, poo-encrusted end of the stick was always there.

I don't remember ever putting one over on Rohan, although I'm pretty sure we defeated his minions a few times.  He never hung around for that, though - when the fangs came out, Rohan was never around for the shit-storm.

We liked him, hated him, fought against him and allied with him.  He was sly, slick and utterly unscrupulous, and we never, ever out thought him.  The very best thing about him was that Nic played him utterly fairly.  No DM fiat, "magical" protection or anything.  Just cruel smarts and the willingness to use them.  I'm sure now he was kind of a "mary-sue" NPC for Nic, but that doesn't matter.  When the topic of NPC's comes up, Rohan stands above them all.

Next Playtest: Dwarves - Session 1.5

We did a couple of introductory sessions in the last few weeks to do character creation, basic introductions to the setting and background.

The party are individually recruited into the Paths Command as part of a new scouting initiative.  The dwarves of Goldenhills have been isolationist under the Ironhammer Clan for the last 100 years - only limited trade with humans and gnomes to the north, other remnants of the Old Kingdom of the dwarves to the south and elves to the west has occurred, and there has been almost no outside contact at all in the last 25 years.

In the introductory sessions, the characters are recruited into Paths Command.  Khidre Eigar, by benefit of his clan relationship with Ragkon Eigar, the Paths Commander, is appointed as squad leader.  Hilbo Huggins, recently released from his service with the Goldenhills Guard, is recruited and re-instated to his previous rank of sergeant.  Korrum Kargonath, having completed his training as a storm-priest of Moradin, is recommended to Paths Command by his superior in the priesthood, High Hammerer Morim, and decides that his previous experience with underdark guide and messenger work makes the position appropriate.

Finally Stalagmite, the feral dwarf found in the southern tunnels by Paths Command scouts, is assigned to the squad. His uncanny skills and odd elemental magics seem like they would be useful.

In the first briefing, Senior Scout Duggan Kammering lays out the assignment.  All communication with Shalecliff, the northernmost mining settlement , has been lost.  Nothing has been heard in the last 2 weeks, and 2 squads of soldiers sent to investigate have failed to return.  Paths Command has advocated a stealthier approach, and the new squad's assignment is to head to Shalecliff, investigate the situation and return with a report as quickly as possible.

Accordingly, the squad gears up and heads out immediately, taking the Great Tunnel northwards before breaking off into the High Pass tunnel and climbing the 2,000 stairs to High Pass Watch, a small 3-story tower manned by Scouts from Paths Command.  The party heads out into the pass to make a bit more ground before dark, then camps and set out in the early morning.

Stalactite checks in with the local wildlife, which he seems to be able to communicate with.  The pikas which live in the pass prove to have little useful information, other than mentioning the recent passage of groups of armed dwarves, headed north, which the party assumes were the previous Guard detachments.  Nothing has come south, although the pikas note the presence of several golden eagles with considerable alarm.

In the morning, Khidre does a quick forage for supplies, coming across several large pikas, who seem both distracted and unconcerned about his approach. Some handy crossbow work nets a hearty breakfast for the party, and they set off across the alpine valley towards Shalecliff.

About half a days hard march brings them close to the entrance to the colony, but the group pauses out of sight of the watch-towers that guard the outer gates.  Khidre, Korrum and Hilbo have all been to Shalecliff before, and Hilbo spent many years with the guard detachment there.  After some discussion, they elect to not approach the gate directly, but instead to enter the mines through a tailings dump, then work their way back to the hold.

Initially, this approach works well, although the normally busy mines are eerily quiet and abandoned.  After a few hours, they come to the main hoist, a platform lifted by geared pulleys that drops from the back entrance of Shalecliff all the way through the processing and smelter areas, down to the mine layers, where the party enters Shalecliff proper.

5E Playtest: Dwarves!

We're currently getting ready to run another round of 5e Playtest, using roll20.net.  This is going to be a dwarf-only campaign, and we currently have 4 characters confirmed and ready to go, with a couple more on-deck.


Stalac(tite/mite) - Guide/Circle of the Moon Druid.

Hilbo "The Hammer" Huggins - Soldier/Reaver Fighter.  

Khidre of the Eigar - Noble/Ogre Hunter Ranger

Korrum - Underdark Guide/Thunderpriest Cleric of Moradin

Current Campaign Background:

The Kingdom of Goldhills is ruled by Andrik Ironhammer, of the Ironhammer clan.  When the Old Kingdom fell, the Ironhammers were the noble house who controlled the gold and iron mines around the Goldhills settlement.  They consolidated themselves quickly and Andrik's grandfather, Falrik, set himself up as the king of Goldhills.

Their main competition since has been from the Eigar Clan, another Old Kingdom noble house who control many of the upland farms, ranches and logging operations.  Several other smaller clans make up the balance of power.  Generally speaking, the Ironhammers control mining and forging operations, and make up the bulk of the Goldenhills Guard, and the Eigar control food production, trade and logging, and make up the majority of the Paths Command and Traders Guild - however, both those organizations are severely restricted in size and budget due to the century or so of isolationist policies of the Ironhammer clan.

Goldhills Hall and surrounding valleys are the main settlement, population is about 7,500 - 5,000 in the hall and 2,500 in the immediate vicinity.

There are also 4 smaller settlements, Greatrock, which is built alongside the river and has a number of waterwheel-powered sawmills, Coalbellow - a  mining settlement at a major coal seam further down the valley, High Grass - surrounded by most of the highland farms, and Shalecliff, a new mining outpost on a major silver and gold find.

I also set up a Campaign Tumblr to post pictures and maps:  http://kootenaymurph.tumblr.com/.

Lots of good tools out there right now, hopefully this will be successful.

Oh, WotC, You're SO Close.

So WotC just put out their contest to create a character sheet.  Which is nice and all.  If you're into that sort of thing, I encourage you to submit one - the world can always use more cool-looking character sheets.

Just one little problem.  Section 4 - must be submitted as a 300 dpi jpeg file.  Presumably so you can make a FUCKING NON-EDITABLE PDF FILE out of it.

I went straight to the yelling pretty fast there, so I'm going to back up a little and take it slowly.

I must assume that you know of these things called computers, which people have and use now, right?  I mean, the whole playtest is digital.  Digital sign-in, digital feedback, digital files only.

So why in the NAME OF FUCKING IUZ THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE are you sending me character sheets that I have to print out and write on in PENCIL?

It really isn't that hard to create a fill-able, savable form that I can type my character information out on, save like a grown-up and email to my DM.  The community is stepping up and making these things because we need them.  They aren't hard to make.

Please - listen carefully to me.  I don't print any of the playtest material in hardcopy.  I don't want or need character sheet hard copies.  I play full-digital.  Work with me here.

Malazan Character Background

So a DM on Reddit/r/lfg wants to run a Malazan-themed campaign.

Thought up a character and decided to share.  This is about as much background as I feel a PC needs - notice that it doesn't have tons of history - just a little flavor, a basic description of the guy and some hints about class/stats (mage, high dex).

For you Malazan fans, Tanner Rhyse is a low-level squad mage, Malazan Army, and practitioner of Serc, the Path of the Sky.

Tanner Rhyse

Everyone comes out of Malazan Basic with a nickname.  Braven Tooth makes sure of that.  Since most recruits are interested in leaving their past behind, a new name is OK with them.

Another Malazan Basic tradition is the obstacle course.  It’s a horrible course.  Mud, walls, rusty spikes, iron-heavy logs to carry, rough hemp rope to swing on.  It’s designed to break down a recruit so that they can be rebuilt as Malazan soldiers.

For Corlis Rhyse, the obstacle course was a revelation.  He’d always been too tall for his own comfort – a lanky connection of sharp knees, elbows and bony angles.  On the obstacle course, he discovered that he was, quite simple, the best.  Flowing over and around and through and under like some sort of clockwork mechanism tuned to this specific task.

His competency annoyed the drill instructors.  The obstacle course is a place for exhaustion, pain, filth and ultimately, failure.  Redemption and competency are supposed to come later – not on the first run on the first day. 

So they made him run it again.  And again.  And again.  He did.  Happily.  Easily.  Smoothly.  Corlis Rhyse was so overjoyed to be GOOD at something that he couldn’t do what the instructors wanted.  Couldn’t slow down.  Couldn’t get filthy and exhausted and clumsy.  He just blew through it twenty or so times while the rest of the recruits stood there and gawped like the farm-boys most of them were.

That wasn’t the worst thing, though.  Oh no.  The worst thing was that Corlis Rhyse was supposed to be EVEN WORSE at the obstacle course than regular recruits.  I mean, he’s tapped to be a squad mage, for Hood’s sake.  They only put the squad mages on the obstacle course for the first few days, so they’re happier about going and doing other squad-magey things.

It was Braven Tooth himself who really put his finger on what pretty much everyone – from the training sergeants right down to the gawping farm-boy recruits was feeling.  “He really chaps my hide,” said the master-sergeant, at one of the training officer meetings (held at Smiley’s – per long-standing tradition).  Everyone agreed. 

And so Tanner Rhyse – generally known at Tanner or “that fucking mage from the obstacle course” – emerged from Basic. Still too tall and gangly.  A loosely attached collection of overlong parts with a pale face, perpetually surprised expression and a warren which seemed to mostly be good for messing up his hair, blowing away important pieces of paper and making him sneeze at very inopportune times (like when a drill instructor is right up in his face yelling at him about how good he was at the obstacle course).  But a squad mage, right enough.  And one that understood the principle of the even trade.

7 RPG's (and 20-Something Years)

Red Box D&D:  Aleeta... Nooooo...  Hey, this is a lot of fun.  Oh, I have to DM?  Seems like a lot of work, but whatever.

1E:  There are so many rules I have no idea what I am doing.  I like the random treasure tables.  Monty Haul ensues.

TMNT: Character creation is awesome.  Making up adventures/stats for enemies is BRUTAL.  I will play this game but I won't DM it.

2e:  Soooo much content.  Activate collector mode.  Hey - I can do ANYTHING with this ruleset and all the splatbooks.  I'm going to make an Iron-Age Celtic-themed low-magic game in my homebrew world/rules and run that for YEARS.  2e, I still love you.

Palladium:  Kinda like D&D but with parrying and armor damage and psionics that actually work and I CAN USE TMNT CHARACTERS!  I love to play this game, but I still won't run it.  I won't RUN anything by Siembeda, but I'll play them all day.

Vampire the Masquerade:  Ouch, I have to unlearn my D&Disms.  This is a really fun and flexible game.  We still do quite a bit of combat.  Man, lots of the other people that play this game are pretentious, condescending douches.

4e:  As a DM, I love this stuff.  Easy to build, easy to run - scratches my tactics itch.  But I can't really homebrew.  It moves soooo slooowwlyyyy...  Roleplaying feels somehow harder.  Not EXACTLY doing it for me.